So I realize I am bad at keeping up with writing a blog all the time. I have come to realize I was holding myself to an impossible agenda of once a week. So my new goal is to write when I feel like it. Hope it goes well. ;-)
I recently had a conversation with a relative about something I am beginning to understand in my life. It is the importance of feeling the love of Heavenly Father. Its something that I have felt in the past and recently been trying to ask to feel it whenever possible.
Heavenly Father and I have had a one sided relationship for most of my life. I know that sounds off but let me explain. For a while I didn't know what I wanted from Him so I never asked. Then I gave up and didn't want anything to do with Him. In feeling alone and abandoned I started to want to know he was alive. So I asked a general question of if you are there then do something. About 2 weeks later my car was stolen. As I was walking outside I looked up to the heavens and thought "well that about does it for me. I am done with you." It was at the moment when I got to my car all banged up and in my moment of rage that I felt my Heavenly Fathers love for me. Don't ask me why it was that moment. I couldn't even begin to guess why. I do know that it sent off a chain of events in my life that has let me to today.
First thing I did the next day was schedule a meeting with Bishop Olsen. I had never met him before but I knew that was the first step in me coming back. I went to meetings and met Danny Wood. I can tell you that within a week of my car being stolen I had 3 things happen to me that Heavenly Father showed his love for me. Danny and Bishop Olsen have been 2 of the most influencial people in my life.
Bishop Olsen guided me with careful love and attention to detail on everything that plagued me at that time. He wasn't doing it just because he had to. It was out of love. Something that was hard for me to accept. He was always there when I needed someone to talk things through and never gave up on me when I struggled with changing. His care for not only my spiritual well being but my emotional, mental, and physical health was immense.
Danny was Cher if Bishop Olsen was Sonny. He may kill me for that analogy. Danny was the example. The other piece of the puzzle. He not only showed me how to become a man but he opened his heart and past and let me know we weren't so different once. It was what I stood on when I struggled. If Danny could do it then I can to. He became my friend. He drove me places without ever questioning it. He stood by me at social situations where I felt so out of place and turned that into feeling at home. I may not play the guitar like he does but he inspires me to be great at everything I choose to do. I am still working on the guitar thing... Now that he is married he sets an example of how to be a great husband. I hope to be half the man Danny is someday.
My point here is that no matter where we are in life, if we sincerly want to feel Heavenly Fathers love for us He will show us. We just have to ask. We can't limit Him on how He can show us love. We can ask Him to show it then confirm to us that He is showing his love. Its there. I know it better than I ever have before. My car was stolen, then I felt it and acted. I was then blessed with 2 of the most amazing men I have met in my life. I continue to ask for it. I am now blessed to be dating the most amazing woman. I don't know if I deserve these gifts but I am trying to earn them.
As I challenged my family member to ask for feeling the love his Heavenly Father has for him, I also challenge all who read this to ask for it. Don't put a time table on it. Don't restrict Him on where, how, what, or when He has to show you. Be open to having your car stolen. I hope its not that for anyone but it could be. I promise you that as you ask for it and be open He will show you. More importantly He wants to show you. If you are struggling with things or have given up on Him I ask you to try this one last time. Remember to ask for it sincerly, and maybe it will be life altering for you or a subtle thing to reconfim what you have already felt before, and He will do something that at that moment you will feel His love.
